Al-Anon Newcomer - PLACER AL-ANON

Glad you’re here!

If someone’s excessive use of alcohol has caused or is causing big problems in your life you are in the right place. There are solutions to those problems, and they are solutions that you are not likely to find on your own. Through Al-Anon you will hear solutions from people who have the same problems you do, and who have put certain solutions to the test and found that they really work. No one will tell you what to do, but they will tell you what THEY did in a similar situation, and what happened. You are free to take what you like and leave the rest. We suggest that you attend at least six Al-Anon meetings before you decide whether or not you want to continue. There are Al-Anon meetings in many places in this area meeting at different times, every day of the week.

How Does it Work?

Al-Anon is not about getting anyone to stop drinking. It is for people who have tried every method they can think of to get a loved one to stop drinking, they have failed miserably, and they are themselves miserable. Al-Anon demonstrates that the sobriety for which we have fought so valiantly is most likely to occur if we will completely and finally stop trying to bring it about. It is most likely to occur if we will focus on ourselves instead of on the alcoholic, or anyone else. Al-Anon shows us that we did not CAUSE the alcoholic to drink, we cannot CONTROL the alcoholic, and we cannot CURE the alcoholic. It also shows us that we absolutely CAN CONTRIBUTE to the problem of alcoholism, and it is likely we have done so.

In Al-Anon we see living proof that we can find contentment, and even happiness, WHETHER THE ALCOHOLIC IS DRINKING OR NOT. This may seem hard to believe, and that’s why we suggest that you attend at least six Al-Anon meetings before you decide whether or not to continue. In Al-Anon we learn that alcoholism is not just a really bad habit. The medical profession agrees that alcoholism is best treated as a disease, which on their own, the typical alcoholic cannot overcome. Far from being the alcoholic’s problem, alcohol is their ONLY SOLUTION to their problem. The most sure way out of the dilemma is for the alcoholic to be denied rescue, and to reach the point where they, on their own, seek the help of recovered alcoholics in AA. Continual rescuing of the alcoholic delays the beginning of recovery indefinitely.

What About Religion?

Al-Anon is not allied with any sect or religion. You can be of any religion, or agnostic, or atheist; it is a “spiritual” program, meaning that we admit that WE are not in control of everything. We see by real examples that there are times when results are better if we let go of certain things, trusting in something larger than our own minds, something that makes sense to us personally. We refer to that as “our higher power”. You are not asked to believe anything that doesn’t make sense to you. Many people call their higher power “God”, but that is a personal choice, and it doesn’t have to have any name at all.

What’s Your Situation?

ANSWER SOME SIMPLE QUESTIONS

Here’s What Happens in a Meeting

Meetings usually start right on time, so try to get there a little early. You’ll probably see other people walking toward the door of the meeting room. If you want you can ask someone where Al-Anon meets. You may be asked if you are a newcomer and welcomed to the meeting. If that doesn’t happen, just find a seat and wait for the meeting to start. You may be surprised to see people laughing and talking like they were at a social gathering. That’s because they have been in recovery for a while, but make no mistake: they have had and may still have serious problems similar to yours, but because of their recovery they can still have laughter in their lives.

The Meeting Starts

In this area it is customary for the meeting to have two members who lead the meeting. One of them, the Secretary, will start the meeting be reading some standard explanatory information about the meeting, and there may be some announcements, and there will be readings of the 12 steps and 12 traditions, and a few other readings about recovery. Then the Secretary will introduce the Chairperson, who will share their personal Al-Anon story, generally in the format of what happened to them and how they reacted to it, how they found Al-Anon, and finally how Al-Anon has helped them, and those around them. The Chairperson may suggest a topic for sharing by members.

Sharing

Then the secretary will open up the meeting for sharing. No one has to share. If you are called on and don’t feel like talking, just say “I pass.” Members will talk about their own experiences that relate to the topic, or whatever is on their mind relating to the Al-Anon program. In sharing we never critique or give advice to another member (“crosstalk”) or ask questions… Save your questions for after the meeting. Sharing is just for our own experiences and the solutions that have worked for us.

You will find Al-Anon members to be open, and willing to talk about sensitive things. You may see tears and laughter from the same person. Members feel safe in openly sharing because they recognize the meeting as a safe place. The chairperson’s share and the members’ shares are the most important part of the meeting because in them we see real-world examples of how the Al-Anon program works. Our confidence in its principles increases when we hear real life examples. We develop the courage to try new solutions to our problems, and even to change our attitudes.

Ending the Meeting

Meetings are often closed by forming a circle, holding hands, and reciting some closing phrase or slogan. After the close of the meeting it is common for some members to stay around for informal discussions. This is an excellent time to ask questions about the program.